Connections

Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble. – Proverbs 17:17 (MSG)

Before I get into my Musing for this week I just have to say that I am once again deeply hurt by the violence one human being can exert upon others. The attack in Nice, France is just the latest in a harrowing series of these violent events. And I can’t help but point out that we get so worked up about this and still ignore so many deaths from violence in all corners of our planet. Take the violence in South Sudan last week that killed a reported 150 people. A blip on the news for just a brief moment but we will be given hours of coverage of the horror in Nice. Both deserve our attention and both speak to the same sickness, those who feel they are right believing that they have the right to do whatever they want to those they deem wrong mostly in the name of their god or political ideology or nationality or tribe or as revenge for what someone else did to them. THE VIOLENCE HAS TO STOP!

Ok. Now on to my Musing about connections. Last week I got together with my oldest and dearest friend and his family. We’ve been friends since grade school. We’ve attended each other’s weddings, parents’ funerals, and been connected across miles and years. Even though we don’t get together often or even talk on the phone much whenever we do connect it is always a time of deep and intimate sharing far beyond the level often enjoyed by friends. Russ is in a lot of ways a significant member of my family.

With the death of my dad last year and the loss of almost all my relatives in his generation my connections to a history, a past, a legacy, roots, and the generations of my family are fading like the thousands of old photos I inherited with no names, locations or hints as to who they are. So connections are becoming more important to me than ever.

My two brothers and I aren’t very close. My older brother was what we now would call a bully toward me when we were growing up. He also took advantage of me by “borrowing” money, having me do things for him, etc. when we were in our twenties. My younger brother felt he was more intelligent and sophisticated then me. Belittling me when I used the wrong word or let some naiveté show in my comments, actions or associations. I tell you this not for your sympathy. I have had some good therapy to help me with these issues. I tell you this because it plays into my need to feel connected as these connections to my brothers are not strong, nor are they very life giving for me. They are more obligation than opportunity for support and nurture.

As you know, I am an introvert but I still need some connections in my life. I still need people that love me, support me, challenge me, accept me flaws and all. These connections are what make existence living. So I have a small number of close friends. I have a pool of colleagues. I have Amy and my children. And I have a few others that provide me the connections I need, the connections we all need to live full, meaningful, productive and contented lives.

Back to violence, it may be that these connections aren’t as strong or even present in those who feel they must do the horrific things they do. It may be that these connections are THE reason they do what they do. I don’t know. But if you truly are connected to others I can’t help but believe that you will see how everyone else is connected and how violence against anyone could be violence against the ones you love.

As the world continues to shake and erupt with violence we need to remember our connections – those that are our intimate pool of support and acceptance, and to all humanity. We must reach out to hurting, desperate people and do whatever we can to improve their lives and circumstances. Everyone is someone’s special connection and everyone desires to have enough so that they can live to their fullest potential. Our connections help us do this and by figuring out how to strengthen those connections for and with others I believe we can move a bit further in our journey to being all that God dreams us to be.

Remember your connections. Savor them and make sure they remain strong as they are one very real and necessary component in your survival kit for life.

Dear God, thank you for the connections in my life that give me hope, love and security. Thank you for my connection with you. Help me to do all I can to help others develop healthy connections so that all your children can be hopeful, loving and secure. Amen.