Saturday, May 30, 2015

Reflecting On Time



For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven - Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NRSV)

With all that’s been happening in my life recently there is one constant that echoes through it all – the meaning and significance of time. My Dad’s death reminded me that we only have a few years of life (average life expectancy in the USA is just under 80 years). Having my youngest turn 21 reminded me that we have only a short time to enjoy each phase of life. Amy and I beginning to talk about retirement in the not too distant future (10-15 years from now) put a marker in the time of my life. And each day that is full of activities, work, chores, etc brings home the reality that what I want to do with my time almost always exceeds the time I have.

Time is such a fickle thing. It is measured and its practical limits known:
  • There are 60 seconds in a minute
  • 60 minutes in an hour
  • 24 hours in a day
  • 365 days a year (except in a Leap Year – once every four years – then there are 366 days)
But when you begin to talk about the beginning of time and how much time there is things get much less specific:
  • The universe is about 13.5 billion years old – every so often this figure gets pushed back as we find new ways to look to the edges of our universe
  • Our Sun will last another 5 billion years
  • Humanity will become extinct in either 100 years or 1 billion years
  • Average life expectancy is only an average, each person could die at any moment
So what is time and how do I make it make sense in my life?

Time is defined as: a measure in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them. But you and I both know that time is more than this. It is a commodity – “How you spend your time matters.” It is a resource – “How much time do you have to spend on this?” It is never-ending: “To infinity and beyond!” It is fleeting – “Time flies when you’re having fun.” It slows down – “Time seems to crawl by.” It is able to be stockpiled – “This can save you time.”

There are countless songs about time. There are untold stories that involve time. There are movies that center upon time. All of these are trying to make sense of it, help us understand it, or make the reality of it perceivable. They want to help us find a way to live with its relentless march or to fantasize about ways to circumvent it, overcome it, extent it or they hope to give us hope about ways to use it. But there is one simple truth about time – it marches on and nothing we can say or do can stop it – at least not in the universe we have and what we know of how it works.

So it seems critical to me that we use our time wisely; that we make sure and divide it up in ways that bring the most benefit to our lives, the lives of others and to the world. Time needs to be spent thoughtfully and it needs to be seen as an important part of the decisions we make. One thing I know for sure is that deciding how to use my time is a constant balancing act between what I need to do, what I want to do, what I would like to do, what I should do and what I can actually do. And I know that sometimes I do nothing which is an ok use of time too.

I know this is an incomplete Musing but time moves on and at another time I will return to this subject. Until next time I encourage you to use your time wisely.

Dear God thank you for the gift of time. Help me find the balance in my life where I use my time wisely. Amen.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Musing for Memorial Day Weekend



Memorial Day

It was told Joab, "The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom." So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the troops; for the troops heard that day, "The king is grieving for his son." 2 Samuel 19:1-2 (NRSV)

As we prepare to enter into Memorial Day weekend with its designation as the “unofficial” start to summer and picnics, parades, flags and remembrances I want to share with you something that I often share in worship on Memorial Day weekend at the beginning of our prayer time concerning Memorial Day; something that reminds us of the meaning and significance of this day.

Memorial Day, or Decoration Day, began in 1868 when members of the Grand Army of the Republic heeded the request of their commander, General John A. Logan, to decorate the graves of their fallen compatriots. It has since become the day on which the United States honors the dead of all its wars and is observed as a legal holiday in most states on the last Monday of May. National services are held at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington, Virginia. In 2000 then President Bill Clinton asked the nation to endorse a humanitarian organization's addition of a moment of silence to the holiday, designating 3 P.M. local time for a minute of quiet reflection on the meaning of America's war dead.  [Bibliography: Litwicki, Ellen M. America's Public Holidays, 1865–1920. Washington, D.C.: Smithsonian Institution Press, 2000.]

Tomorrow we remember the 25,324 who died in the Revolutionary War, the 562,130 who paid the price in the Civil War, the 116,708 who were killed in action during World War 1, the 408,306 who died in the Second World War, the 52,246 who died in action in the Korean Conflict, the 58,219 who were killed in Vietnam, the 241 who died in Beirut, the thousands of others who have died in various attacks, wars, police actions, UN operations, NATO campaigns and the over 4,000 and counting who have died in action in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Tomorrow we remember all these mostly young men and women who have been killed in Defense of our National Interest.  We also remember the untold thousands who died in these conflicts who were designated as our enemies and the millions of civilians killed by our wars.

Tomorrow, let’s pray from deep within ourselves that not one more life be lost in a military action.  Let us pray that our nation will become a nation of peace.  Tomorrow, remember those who have been left alone by the deaths we memorialize and pray for them too.  As we honor the fallen and remember the departed let us commit ourselves as followers of the Prince of Peace to the cause of peace and justice.

Memorial Day has also become a day we remember all our loved ones who have died. People often visit graves and place flowers. In some places it is the time families clean and spruce up the graves of their departed. I find it interesting that this weekend has such a duality about it. On one hand it is a full blown holiday weekend that is the first “summer” weekend of the year. People go camping. There are picnics. Often there are fireworks at ball games and musical events in public parks. And of course there are parades, lots of parades and speeches and celebrating. And on the other hand it is a reflective weekend where people bear in mind those they have lost, relive their grief, remember their loved ones and contemplate the effects of war on their lives, the lives of others and the world. Of all our holidays this one seems to be the one that calls forth from us the widest range of emotions.

So I hope you will allow for this range of emotions to be felt. Don’t deny your grief. Don’t downplay your mourning. Don’t apologize for your indignation about the cost of war. Don’t feel badly that you are enjoying the time off, the picnic and the fun. Don’t worry about pointing a finger at God and asking, “Why?” Let yourself feel what you feel and me gentle with yourself and others.  I hope you have a restful and rejuvenating holiday weekend.

Dear God, I pray for those who have been killed in wars and for those who grieve for them. I pray that we can find a way to solve our differences as nations and peoples that does not involve war. And I thank you for all those who have been willing to defend their nation and its freedoms and ideals. I also pray for all who have died and for those who feel their absence. Bring all these people your grace, comfort, and peace. Amen.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Small Words

Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim. – Proverbs 15:4 (The Message)

Many of you know already that my dad died on April 25th. Since that day my family and I have been awash in the love, care, concern and prayers of so many people that it truly is humbling to realize how blest we are to have such good friends, faithful communities and special people in our lives. I have no way to repay all your kindness and love. I have no way to make you understand how vitally important your cards, comments, and prayers have been and are to successfully navigating this time of loss, grief and finding a way forward. So I have to fall back on the only words I know to use in a situation like this, thank you.

Time and again people come to me and ask, “What can I say to someone who is experiencing grief and loss that will make a difference?” They say, “I don’t know what to say or how to say it.” They lament, “I feel so inadequate in face of such pain and loss.” My response has always been the same, “Just say you are there, that you care, and that you will hold them in prayer.” The small, simple words are the most effective and meaningful in times of grief and loss. Having been on the receiving end of such words and heartfelt expressions several times in my life I know how powerfully important they are to those who are in pain.

There is an old hymn with the line “If you can’t preach like Peter, if you can’t pray like Paul, just tell the love of Jesus…” (verse 3 of “There Is a Balm in Gilead”). I think that is what most people need when they are in pain, worried, grieving and feeling lost, simple, small words that let them know they are cared for, that they have someone who loves them, that someone is there for them. At these times in life people don’t need theological discourses on the meaning of life. They aren’t wanting to hear theories about heaven and the afterlife. They could care less about philosophical reflections on the great circle of life. They simply need to know that you are there and that you care; small, simple words.

Think about your own life and the times when you felt lost, alone, unsure, in pain, grieving and remember the words that meant the most, that helped you trudge along until the load lighten a bit. I bet they are words and phrases like, “I love you.” “I’m here if you need me.” “If I can help in any way let me know.” “You are in my thoughts and prayers.” “I’m holding you in the light of grace and love.” “I’m here and I care.” These are not grand dissertations on the deep spiritual, philosophical, mystical, or theological dimensions of life, the universe and everything. They are small simple words that carry all that someone in pain wants and needs to hear. And they are words anyone and everyone can say to those they care about when they are in the throes of pain, loneliness and lost.

 So don’t worry about what to say, just say what is on your heart. Don’t worry about having the correct thing to say; whatever you say that comes from a place of care and concern will be fine. Don’t keep from saying anything for fear of saying the wrong thing because saying something as simple and honest as “I don’t know what to say expect that I care” is enough. Thank you for your small words. Thank you for your care.

Dear God, thank you for the people in my life that speak the simple, small words that have all the meaning they need. Thank you for the love and care of so many. And thank you for being there and for caring. May all who are hurting, alone and grieving know that someone cares and that you are there. Amen.