Appreciation

And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love! 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 (MSG)

I sometimes don’t say “Thank you” enough. I often am so focused on whatever it is that is front and center in my mind, day, thinking, etc. that when someone does something for me or accomplishes something that I have asked them to do or some other scenario I just fly past it, not a word of thanks or appreciation.

I know part of the reason for this is that often whatever it is that has been done was something that I believe should have been done anyway. In my slightly strange way of viewing the world if you have said you will do something or there is something that is a part of your responsibilities or in some way it is what is expected or required of you I just don’t share gratitude for someone accomplishing it.

Two things have happened recently that have made me more aware then ever of this limitation in my humanity and the need for it. One was the realization that entering my thirteenth year at Vermont Hills UMC the conference hierarchy doesn’t really notice us. We are sort of forgotten. Mostly this has happened because this church and I are a good match and there aren’t any flags being raised to draw attention to me or this church. From the conference’s perspective we do what is required and expected of us and not really anything more. We don’t have a fantastic new model of ministry to trout. We haven’t had an increase in membership to draw attention our way. We are just doing what we are expected to do as a local church and me as its pastor. But we are doing things that matter. Just the fact that we are present here and engaged in our community is something that needs to be recognized and appreciated.

The other thing that happened recently was my being a major part of the leadership of the General Conference 2016 Host Team. I took hundreds of hours of personal time, family time, and time away from my congregation to volunteer to help make sure that everyone who came experienced extravagant hospitality. And by every account I have heard we did just that. Me, the Host Team, our hundreds of volunteers went above and beyond expectations and past experiences and we hit it out of the park. But not a word has come to me from the General Commission on General Conference. This is the branch of our general church that has responsibility for all of General Conference and the local Host team works with and for them. No email thanks, no card of appreciation, not a letter to the Host Team chairs that was shared with me. Nothing. The herculean effort we put out seems not to be appreciated by the General Commission.

It sounds like I am whining and seeking pity. Maybe I am but what I really want to get across is that a word of thanks can make all the difference. A simple card, a quick email, a letter of appreciation can be all that is needed to make someone feel that all their sacrifice, their effort, their commitment has been noticed and is appreciated. People almost always go above and beyond what is expected of them but they cut back when they feel no one notices, cares or is appreciative of what they do and give. It all has to do with connections, with relationship. If you appreciate me and what I do that helps or impacts you I feel good about our connection and am willing to give you more. But if you dismiss me, ignore my efforts, or don’t seem to value me then I pull back and am hesitant to give you more. This isn’t about ego stroking or requiring some kind of “payment” because that isn’t what I’m writing about. I am simply writing about the basic human act of appreciation that we all want, need and can give.

So I am trying to practice my appreciation of others. Saying thanks when a server fills my water. Letting someone who has done something for me know I appreciate their effort. Dropping a note off when a shop or business has done a good job. Even taking the time to fill out that survey or do that review so that my appreciation is expressed and registered. I encourage you to up your appreciation quotient. It is something simple and easy to do and it does make a real difference in peoples’ lives and in the world.

And by the way, if I have failed to thank you in past I apologize. I am very thankful for everything people do for me. I hope you know that you make my life better, easier and more full. Thank you!

God, help me to notice what others do for me. Help me to appreciate the time, effort and all that goes into what they do. Help me to say thank you. I pray for all those who give, and give, and give and never are noticed, thanked or appreciated for what they do. Amen.

Making a Mountain Out of a Mole Hill

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Luke 6:41 (NRSV)

Michael Phelps laughs during the Star Spangled Banner. A female gymnast doesn’t put her hand over her heart while the National Anthem plays. US swimmers have strange circles on their skin. What is going on? Do they have no respect for flag and country? Are they doing something strange or illegal? Are they so special that they get to ignore the protocols the rest of us adhere to? It would seem that time and time and time again people see something and they jump to a very severe conclusion. They assume the worst and immediately lash out at whomever they believe has done a wrong and committed a slight. What often is the case is that there is some simple and often times mundane reason for what has been seen.

Michael Phelps’ friend in the stands did a hometown thing while the Anthem played and he laughed, just like you or I would have. That gymnast, she was so caught up in the moment that she just forgot to get her hand up on her heart. It happens to us all and we’ve never been on the gold metal platform. Those circles, come from an ancient oriental procedure called cupping that is supposed to help increase blood flow and help heal sore muscles. Simple, even mundane explanations, nothing sinister or freakish just normal things we all would do.

So why is it that people want to see the ominous, the disturbing, the negative when they observe these things? Next time you are at a ball game notice how many people don’t remove their hats, talk and laugh, and ignore the National Anthem when it is played. Are they all un-American? Disrespectful of our nation and its flag? Are they all protesting something or making some kind of statement by their willful neglect of the hollowness of the moment? No! They forget they have a hat on. They are enjoying their friends and family and laugh at something. They are caught up in some memory or moment and just space out the anthem. Nothing untold, just what happens.

And yet we always seem to be ready to find a conspiracy or wanton disregard for what is right and true whenever we see something that we don’t like. I do it. I have to catch myself and check to see what it is that has gotten me to jump to a conclusion that isn’t the most likely or even most obvious. Maybe we should operate by Occam’s razor – “Among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected.” Or as I paraphrase it in my own life, “The simplest explanation is usually the right one.” If we all operate this way then a lot of misunderstandings, inaccurate conclusions, and unsubstantiated conspiracies[T1]  could be avoided.

I think it all has to do with being nice. With assuming that most people are basically good, caring, honest people. With a willingness to let trivial things just pass without comment or reaction. Not very many people are out to get you. Not very many folks are deliberately trying to disrespect you or the country or whatever. Not very many people are out to make vicious protests against our way of life. By making mountains out of mole hills (one of my dad’s favorite sayings) we fan the fire of distrust, of animosity, of discord, and it furthers the divide between “us” and “them.”

In a world where people spew hate and sow discard at every turn we need people who are willing to be nice. Willing to let someone merge in front of them on Highway 26. Willing to forgive an inadvertent slight. Willing to hold the door. Willing to do simple, polite and nice things for others. Almost all the stuff that gets to us are moles hills and if we see them as such then they don’t have nearly the influence or sway on us that they would if we perceive them as mountains.

Dear God, help me to take a breath. Help me to allow for the possibility that things are not as bad as they seem. Help me to practice being nice in place of jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst. Help me to live as you would have us all live, respecting others and caring for this world and all its people. Amen.

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