Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously
with me, and because I have everything I want." So he urged him, and he
took it. Genesis 33:11 (NRSV)
Christmas has come once again and with it the never-ending drive
to find the right gift for those you love and care about. It would seem that
one gift option you are to avoid is that practical item. It seems to say that
you don’t love the recipient enough or that you are not paying attention to
what they want or that you don’t want to take the time or make the effort to
give something to them that is from the heart. Maybe it’s because I am a man or
I am insensitive or I lack some deeper level of empathy but I think a practical
gift can be meaningful, an expression of deep love, and come from a place of
intimacy. A practical gift can be the best gift you can give someone.
Ok, I don’t mean a new toilet seat for Christmas – my dad did that
once for my mother when the toilet seat broke a week before Christmas, not his
best choice. But there are practical things that really are some of the best
gifts you can give someone. The difficulty with practical gifts is that you
really do have to pay attention to the wants and needs of the person you are
considering. Giving a practical gift means you know what they need, what they
really would like to have but for some reason are not able or willing to get it
for themselves. Often times this has to do with the seemingly frivolous nature
of the item or the need it addresses. The other reason usually has to do with
the feeling that they can “get by without it.”
If someone cooks a lot and they comment that chopping onions is a
bother and wouldn’t it be nice to have an electric chopper but they never seem to
want to get one that may be a great practical gift. Amy got me one and it is
used a lot and it is a treasured gift even if it is just a practical item. Amy
doesn’t like the dark halls and corners of our house during the day. She loves
lots of natural light. We can’t cut a bunch of windows into hallway walls so
she often comments on those “can” skylights as something to consider. When I
suggest we get one she always has a reason why it isn’t a good time. So, I got
her one and she regularly comments on how nice it is that we have it and thanks
me for that gift, even after several years.
I know that age has something to do with this. I also know that
financial limitations come into play. Practical gifts are often things that are
wanted but seem just beyond what would be necessary. Socks and underwear are
practical gifts that are also necessary. In our family, they regularly appear
at Christmas but they aren’t what I am talking about here. I am talking about
those things that aren’t necessary for life but that are necessary to make life
just a bit nicer, easier, better. I have set myself a goal of at least once a
year getting everyone I care deeply about one practical gift that makes their
life a bit nicer, easier, better. I am having a hard time doing this for my
sons but I will figure it out as they too transition into a phase of life where
that practical item really does impact their life and is appreciated more than
the latest gadget or trendy item.
So, my advice to you is to give a practical gift, but make it one
that really reflects the person you are gifting. This takes works. It means you
must pay attention and notice things. It means that you must risk the initial
reaction for the longer-term appreciation. And it does not let you off the hook
for finding and giving that less practical gift that also reflects the recipient’s
wants, needs, and indulgences. Being a good gift giver takes work and it takes
balancing the special, unique and practical.
May you receive just the right practical gift this Christmas!
Merry Christmas and a blessed and hope-filled New Year.
Dear God, help me to give the gift that others need to make their
life better. Help me to receive whatever gifts I am given with a gracious and
loving heart. Help me to remember that it isn’t the gift, it’s the act of
giving that matters. Thank you for the gift of your Child and the gifts he
inspires in us all. Amen.
