To Muse or Not to Muse That Is Not the Question

If your revelation hadn't delighted me so, I would have given up when the hard times came. But I'll never forget the advice you gave me; you saved my life with those wise words. Save me! I'm all yours. I look high and low for your words of wisdom. Psalms 119:92-94 (The Message)

As busy as the last couple of weeks have been I did think, “Maybe I should give up my Musing for awhile, take a break from this weekly (to use a George Carlin line) brain dropping.” But then I realized something, I am always musing, reflecting, wondering and trying to figure out myself and my life. It never stops, never ends and is a constant part of what I do and who I am. Maybe that’s a confession of mental illness but it is my reality. So for those of you who thought in my earlier lines that this might be a fond farewell it isn’t. You’re stuck with these weekly windows into the strange and sometimes wise workings of my heart, mind and soul.

I like to reflect on what’s happening around me, what I am feeling, how I am reacting to something going on. I enjoy sharing thoughts and letting you know what’s causing me pain or bringing me joy. As an introvert this is a safe way to share myself with others so that you have a sense of who I am as I get a sense of who you are through your comments, your reactions and those times we contact in person. It is also a way that I can share with you my theology, my understanding of God, and my take on how to live faithfully.

These Musings help me in another way; they help me to deal with the scary, tragic, awesome, unreal, disappointing and confusing aspects of life in the 21^st Century. Putting something down on virtual paper helps me to get my head around things, to get in touch with what I am feeling, and to let my joy or grief or confusion out and allow it to be seen, heard and in some way dealt with.

These Musings might just be my way of Journaling, or using a diary, of helping me to know and understand what has and is happening in my life. I know that at times, when I read back over what I have written I am surprised at what has come out, it could be something profoundly personal, it could be a way of looking at something that I wasn’t really paying attention to, it could be a way to focus upon myself and my relationship with God. In some way and at some times these Musings are my way of getting a handle on what it means to be a person of faith in the Christian tradition in our time and place.

So now I have a confession to make, I do these Musings for myself and then just let you in on them. I don’t think about how you, the reader will react, I rarely think about how you might receive them or if what I am writing will somehow convince you of something. I write these to get my thoughts together, to help myself deal with things that are important to me or that have caught my attention. These Musings are one way I listen for the voice of God, pay attention to the voice of God, try and make some sense of the voice of God and check to see if what I am hearing is the voice of God.

That sounds kind of weird, and very egocentric. But it is true. I Muse because I have to and I do it for myself. I want to help others in their efforts to make sense of life and to delve into their faith and relationship with God so I share these with you but only as a window into what I think, feel, believe and do and not as a prescription of what you should do (though I do think, at times, I suggest what you might do and maybe suggest it strongly).

So thank you for letting me drop some of my brain, my life, myself, and my faith on you. I hope that in some small way it helps you.

Dear God, thanks for giving me a heart to feel, a mind to think, a soul to connect with, and people to share with. I seek to be a faithful child of yours, help me in that endeavor. Bless all those who read or receive these Musings. Amen.