Pride

Some take pride in chariots, and some in horses, but our pride is in the name of the Lord our God.

 - Psalms 20:7 (NRSV)

Pride lands you flat on your face; humility prepares you for honors.  - Proverbs 29:23 (The Message)

Don’t worry; I am not starting a series of Musings on the Seven Deadly Sins. I am conflicted however. You see all my life I have been taught that pride is not a good thing. Pride is defined as: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.; The state or feeling of being proud. A becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem; Pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself; Something that causes a person or persons to be proud. As one of the Seven Deadly Sins (I couldn’t avoid going there) pride is: excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

The conflict within me has to do with the battle lines that have been drawn by my religion, culture, tradition and family upbringing. Obviously the idea that belief in your own abilities is dangerous is part of the corrupt interpretation of the Christian faith that has been passed on over the last several centuries. It all goes back to the likes of St. Augustine who said things like: It was Pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels. I was taught in church and at home that you shouldn’t be too confident in your own abilities because it would somehow cause you to put less trust in God.

 

My folks were so confused about what to do they seemed to never fully land in either camp. They would tell me how great a job I had done and how proud they were of me and then in the very next breathe they would remind me that I could do more, be better and that I shouldn’t be too confident in my own abilities. This problem wasn’t just my own. It had gotten so bad in our culture that we began to realize that self-esteem and self-confidence were lacking in many people due to our cultural and religious hesitation and uncertainty regarding pride. When my kids were in elementary school self-confidence was a big part of everything they did from no letter grades (It’s how you do not how you rank with others) to participation trophies (no one is better than anyone else we all are equally important). While I think this helped a lot of kids to feel better about themselves it still didn’t get at the core of the conflict we have created – satisfaction and confidence verses a drive for perfection and pride.

 

I am proud of my children. I am proud of Amy. I am proud of my church. I am proud of the way I am leading my church. I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish in my life. I am proud of those I know who are doing well. But even writing this makes little bells go off in my head. Who am I to think I am doing a good job? Why should I feel pride for something that isn’t done as well as it might be? How is it that in all my imperfections and failings I can be proud of anything that I have done?

 

It has taken me years but I have gotten to the place where I can let those little bells toll and not let their ringing dampen the pride I feel in myself and others over things and life well done. I think we all need to take pride in a job well done. I think we all need to allow for ourselves to be proud of what others have accomplished. I think we all should let the pride flow when successes come. I also agree that we need to never, ever let our pride, self-confidence, etc displace God. I don’t believe in the interference God (God jumps in and makes things happen) but I do believe that what is right and good and just comes from a place deeper than just my or any other person’s ability. I believe that we are all uniquely gifted and that when we put our gifts to work for the common good and join our gifts with those of others who are also working for the common good we are doing something holy, something divine and God is present there. The sum or the parts is greater than the individual elements. It isn’t all thanks to the individuals present because something else is there as well, God is there.

 

I realize that I haven’t said everything I have to say on this subject. I also realize that I am not sure what else I need to say right now. So I will end this Musing without a clear finish to it.

 

Dear God, thank you for making me who I am, for all the unique and special things that make me who I am. Help me to be confident and proud of who I am and what I do. Help me to also join my efforts with those of others so that together we can be more and do more than we could alone. Thank you for all your gifted children. Amen.