R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Pay to all what is due them—taxes to whom taxes are due, revenue to whom revenue is due, respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due. Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:7-8 (NRSV)

Leadership gains authority and respect when the voiceless poor are treated fairly. Proverbs 29:14 (The Message)

I have been reading and hearing a lot about respect these days. In particular, about how some people are suppose to respect the office or respect the tradition or respect the occasion. People are challenging members of congress who are choosing to forgo attendance at the inauguration saying they should respect the event, respect the office of president, etc. I have heard people say that we should respect the president-elect because he is the president-elect. I have heard folks say that we need to figure out how to respect others who hold different opinions. I have heard people say that they aren’t respected. And I was taught that you respect those in positions of authority, your elders, clergy, teachers, etc.

What exactly are we talking about when we are talking about “respect?” I always turn to the dictionary when I start to wrestle with a word and what it means. Respect, noun, a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements: the state of being admired or respected; due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. The next place I turn is to the Thesaurus. Synonyms for respect are: admiration, deference, esteem, reverence, veneration.

So, to respect someone means that you admire them, recognize their abilities, qualities, and achievements; and have regard for them. I think a quote my dad use to throw about but that I’m sure never know who said it has something to say in this discussion: “Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given.”  Hussein Nishah (I think this is Shah Hussain a Punjabi Sufi poet of the 16^th century CE but could not find a definitive connection).

For me, respect is a basic human right in that every person deserves to be respected – to have others give due regard for their rights, to be seen as human, etc. But the respect that folks are calling for regarding “the office” or “the tradition” or “their new position” is not this basic respect. It is the respect that is earned. The respect that comes from an admiration for a person’s abilities, qualities and achievements. I cannot judge another and I sure won’t try and figure out if they respect someone else in this way. But if someone chooses to not participate in an event, it has to do with respect but the kind that is earned.

The time of respect for an office, a title, a role, a job, etc. has passed. Whether it was because of the 1960’s “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” Or Watergate, or Roman Catholic priests sex abuse scandal or too many PhD’s who abused their degree, or other such things all I know is that this is gone. Now people need to know what you stand for, what you value, how you treat others, etc. before they will respect you. They must see that your actions and words are the same. They can’t rely on a degree or an office they must know you. I must say that it is possible and even important to respect people who believe differently than you. But they still must pass the abilities and qualities test. They must be decent people who treat others with the basic respect due us all.

I’m not sure this is making a lot of sense. I know what I mean, I’m not sure it’s what I’ve written. I seem to be rambling or having a tough time focusing so I will end this Musing. I’m not sure this loss of respect for a role, title, etc. is a good thing. I’m also not sure that it is a bad thing. But it is the reality of our culture at this time. So, give everyone the basic respect they are due and keep an open mind so that folks can earn your respect.

Dear God, help me respect all people. Help me to say and do things that match. Help me be someone that others can respect. Help all of us to be people that others respect. Amen.