Practical Presents

Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have everything I want." So he urged him, and he took it. Genesis 33:11 (NRSV)

Christmas has come once again and with it the never-ending drive to find the right gift for those you love and care about. It would seem that one gift option you are to avoid is that practical item. It seems to say that you don’t love the recipient enough or that you are not paying attention to what they want or that you don’t want to take the time or make the effort to give something to them that is from the heart. Maybe it’s because I am a man or I am insensitive or I lack some deeper level of empathy but I think a practical gift can be meaningful, an expression of deep love, and come from a place of intimacy. A practical gift can be the best gift you can give someone.

Ok, I don’t mean a new toilet seat for Christmas – my dad did that once for my mother when the toilet seat broke a week before Christmas, not his best choice. But there are practical things that really are some of the best gifts you can give someone. The difficulty with practical gifts is that you really do have to pay attention to the wants and needs of the person you are considering. Giving a practical gift means you know what they need, what they really would like to have but for some reason are not able or willing to get it for themselves. Often times this has to do with the seemingly frivolous nature of the item or the need it addresses. The other reason usually has to do with the feeling that they can “get by without it.”

If someone cooks a lot and they comment that chopping onions is a bother and wouldn’t it be nice to have an electric chopper but they never seem to want to get one that may be a great practical gift. Amy got me one and it is used a lot and it is a treasured gift even if it is just a practical item. Amy doesn’t like the dark halls and corners of our house during the day. She loves lots of natural light. We can’t cut a bunch of windows into hallway walls so she often comments on those “can” skylights as something to consider. When I suggest we get one she always has a reason why it isn’t a good time. So, I got her one and she regularly comments on how nice it is that we have it and thanks me for that gift, even after several years.

I know that age has something to do with this. I also know that financial limitations come into play. Practical gifts are often things that are wanted but seem just beyond what would be necessary. Socks and underwear are practical gifts that are also necessary. In our family, they regularly appear at Christmas but they aren’t what I am talking about here. I am talking about those things that aren’t necessary for life but that are necessary to make life just a bit nicer, easier, better. I have set myself a goal of at least once a year getting everyone I care deeply about one practical gift that makes their life a bit nicer, easier, better. I am having a hard time doing this for my sons but I will figure it out as they too transition into a phase of life where that practical item really does impact their life and is appreciated more than the latest gadget or trendy item.

So, my advice to you is to give a practical gift, but make it one that really reflects the person you are gifting. This takes works. It means you must pay attention and notice things. It means that you must risk the initial reaction for the longer-term appreciation. And it does not let you off the hook for finding and giving that less practical gift that also reflects the recipient’s wants, needs, and indulgences. Being a good gift giver takes work and it takes balancing the special, unique and practical.

May you receive just the right practical gift this Christmas!

Merry Christmas and a blessed and hope-filled New Year.

Dear God, help me to give the gift that others need to make their life better. Help me to receive whatever gifts I am given with a gracious and loving heart. Help me to remember that it isn’t the gift, it’s the act of giving that matters. Thank you for the gift of your Child and the gifts he inspires in us all. Amen.